Write as Raina

Tag: Funny Story

  • A Family Affair

    A Family Affair

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    by

    Raina B.
    in ,

    I will echo the same sentiment everyone else has 1,000 times already; I can’t believe it’s Thanksgiving already. I feel like it was only a couple of weeks ago that I was bitching about being so sweaty all the live long day. But yet, here we are. Just days away from me-wrestling-with-Christmas-trees season (wait for…

  • The Beginning of the End: Part III

    The Beginning of the End: Part III

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    by

    Raina B.
    in ,

    “Coffee? I could drink some coffee.” Now, I’m not super thrilled to admit this part: I got in his car. I wish I could tell you what I was thinking, but clearly, I wasn’t. I wasn’t sober. Not drunk by this point, but obviously not on top of my game. I think I was lulled…

  • The Beginning of the End: Part II

    The Beginning of the End: Part II

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    by

    Raina B.
    in ,

    So, where were we? Ah yes. I was on a date, in a bar, with a gentleman who had recently tried to give up drinking. And I have a hardcore brunch buzz. Right. This is my life, Ladies and Gentleman, and at that moment, I wasn’t loving it. Less than ten minutes in, I already…

  • The Beginning of the End: Part I

    The Beginning of the End: Part I

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    by

    Raina B.
    in ,

    The date that made me quit dating…the first time. Because to be clear, I eventually tried online dating (and quit trying online dating) a second time, but only because my therapist told me to. It was a long, weird afternoon spent in the company of a stranger who said THE strangest things. An afternoon that…

  • I’ve Got the Golden Ticket

    I’ve Got the Golden Ticket

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    by

    Raina B.
    in ,

    The day after I retired from the oil industry, I took the train out to a suburb of Philadelphia to take a dance class. I know the woman who teaches the class; she lives a few blocks away from me in the city. I bought a one-way ticket because the teacher offered to drive me…

  • Under My Umbrella

    Under My Umbrella

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    by

    Raina B.
    in ,

    Living alone and not having an other of any significance, I spend the lion’s share of my waking hours by myself. Which is fine by me, I enjoy the shit out of my own company. I find me hilarious. But, that being said, there are times when I feel like I’m out here all on…

  • A Walk to Remember

    A Walk to Remember

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    by

    Raina B.
    in ,

    I was raised on America’s Most Wanted and Law & Order. So I approach all life situations carefully considering the odds of my getting kidnapped, raped, and/or murdered to an arguably (and admittedly) irrational degree. I don’t mind telling you that I am scared of the country. Even the suburbs creep me out a little…

  • Common Courtesy is Dead

    Common Courtesy is Dead

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    by

    Raina B.
    in ,

    Common courtesy has died a horrible death and common decency is on life support. If I ever become President, I will mandate that everyone, I don’t care who your dad is, EVERYONE will be required to spend at least six months working in either a restaurant or in retail. I believe that will make a…

  • Baby Showers Bum Me Out

    Baby Showers Bum Me Out

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    by

    Raina B.
    in ,

    Baby showers bum me out. I get bummed out because as I sit there I know that, more than likely, that will never be me. I have that thought not for the reasons you might think. I actually don’t want kids. At least not now and not in the foreseeable future. I’ve been told that…

  • Hey, Remember That Time I Met Mark Wahlberg?

    Hey, Remember That Time I Met Mark Wahlberg?

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    by

    Raina B.
    in , ,

    I had graduated from Drexel University with a Master’s Degree in Interior Design with no job offers and no job leads.  I was working as a hostess at two high end restaurants in Philadelphia. One of those restaurants was the steak house chain, Smith & Wollensky’s.  Summer being their slow season, there wasn’t much need for a…